I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
