Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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