Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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