Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
