Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
