My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
