She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
