we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had to cum in my sink.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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