i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
