perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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