I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
