saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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