omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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