How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
