Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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