GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
