cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
