you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
