I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
