Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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