Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
