...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
