the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
