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Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
