Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
