i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
