My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
