How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
