you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize