Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
