the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
