hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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