if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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