I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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