feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Enjoy the penises
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
