We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
