Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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