I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
