I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
