apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
