I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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