Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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