That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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