If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Even my vagina gasped.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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