porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize