Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
