I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
