Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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