dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
