I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
