He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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