fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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