if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
