The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Randomize
