Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
farters have to be the big spoon...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
