today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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