on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So squirting runs in the family.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
