I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
