when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
