how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
