Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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