so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
