so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I have aggressive nipples.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
