she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
