you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
