I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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